Children know when something is not right in a parent(s)’s relational world. They have radar. We have seen when Karen and I were in minor conflicts that our little ones used to come hug our legs in the kitchen where we were talking. Why? They were insecure and long for well-being. When parents are well, they sense they are well too.
Children are excellent observers. When it comes to interpreting the fallen aspects of life and relational pain, however, children are poor interpreters. They, like us, need a Gospel-interpretation. They, like us, may blame themselves or God wrongly. Often it just makes sense to them that if they had just been better behaved their home would be safe and their family would simply get along.
When children are vulnerable to believe a lie, Satan is more than willing to supply one – one especially believable to make sense of their story. This set up becomes early occasions to make deep commitments to foolish strategies to overcome the condemnation they sense. Thus, a child’s drive to perform to make things well becomes a religious effort to make life work without the Gospel.
It isn’t until we name our sin, Satan’s condemning thoughts, and how the righteous life and death of Christ in our place that we find our true rest. The good news is that the Holy Spirit is more than willing to spell it all out for us with the “sweetest voice I’ve ever heard.”
Christian parents are God’s Gospel interpreters for their children, who are excellent observers but often poor interpreters.
For more, see Embracing Your Identity in Christ: Renouncing Lies and Foolish Strategies (Bloomington, IN: WestbowPress a Division of Thomas Nelson and Zondervan, 2017). https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Your-Identity-Christ-Renouncing-ebook/dp/B06XT2SSLM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491238272&sr=8-1&keywords=robert+Davis+Smart